un sabbatique fantastique en Afrique

The pig from 'Peg + Cat' - a Canadian animated kids show with frequent geometric themes - may have missed his true calling as a road traffic policeman in Mugabe-era Zimbabwe (it's nice to be able to write that last bit with a hint of the past tense). At least he would have brought a little operatic enthusiasm to the role. One of the catchphrases that echoes through our house at high volume: 'I love triangllllles!!' Our preparation for our Christmas road trip to Bulawayo involved getting familiar with a dizzying schedule of fines ('No Driver's Licence: $20'; 'Headlights causing dazzle: $15'; 'Spit in or from vehicle: $5' - bargain!), and ensuring we had adequate fire extinguishers, safety vests, car jacks and matching tyres to satisfy the pernickety fine collectors that have been a fixture of car travel in the country. Fines in Zim are big business. One news report I read earlier last year, indicated a projected 60 million USD of rev...

For a special birthday treat in 2016, we went to see Matilda the Musical. For my birthday, that is, and we got a babysitter. Frankie was not quite old enough to appreciate the deliciously revolting children and all the nuance of Agatha Trunchbull. But the soundtrack was on high rotation since then, and she grew to love the songs and especially the character of Matilda. I had thought we might go to see it with her this year, perhaps in London or wherever we can catch it on the worldwide tour. But little did we know, that the tour had already reached Lusaka. Well, perhaps Tim Minchin and the copyright team might not quite know about this particular production. The Barefoot Theatre of Lusaka adapted the story to local conditions, adding 2 extra wives to Matilda’s family, a Bonanza slot machine addiction rather than Bingo, and a breakout hip-hop dance session in the middle that truly rocked the house. Many of the expat families that we have met through Frankie’s school were al...

Batgirl (thinks): Are you serious! Ballet shoes and a tutu in a Zimbabwean national park? Wonderwoman (thinks): FFS! I bet the most difficult thing she has done is maintain that glazed look and faux smile all day. Fairy: "Soooooo, who likes pink?" Grazing cows The origins of the 'wellness model of health' Tastes as good as it looks and the crisp's catch phrase doubles as a handy pickup up line As the first casualty of musical chairs, Bruce's self respect took it particularly hard This golf course was literally a zebra haven... . ...and a home for ostrich, and included a campsite we stayed at ... ...and some more familar birds "Sleek exterior, great clearance and an impressive horn....you're right Bill I do love the look of this one" Ok this one writes itself...make sure you read all the headings

Despite Zambia not being a francophone country, unlike next door Democratic Republic of Congo, we’ve managed to seek out our own slice of France to help prepare for the coming year in Lyon. Frankie has been attending Le Lycée Francais de Lusaka (The French school of Lusaka). She’s in a the maternelle section (MS), which is essentially kinder. She has a wonderful teacher, originally from Mauritius, called Jenny - “the same as Miss Honey!”, as in Matilda. The class is essentially taught in French, although her teachers can speak English and there are a few dedicated lessons taught in English during the week. The school has a mixture of kids of French expats, Zambians and children from francophone Africa. However, like us, there is a smattering of enfants of parents who speak little French, mainly from UK and the US. School gates open at 0710, and each morning we are greeted by Monsieur Petit the school principal, “ Bonjour Francesca ”. As this is usually peak shy time, a reply ...

Not long before leaving for Malawi, we had an email telling us not to worry about bloodsuckers. We would be hiking on Mount Mulanje only during the day, and attacks by either bloodsuckers or those seeking revenge had been all at night time. Relief ensued. Hold the phone! Bloodsuckers?? Were there not already enough creatures that could extract either blood (thanks anopheles spp ), or body parts (thanks large mammal spp )? We had not heard of these, and were definitely not taking the appropriate medicinal prophylaxis. Not unique to Malawi, but spread across this part of Africa are stories of mystical beings that come at night and use witchcraft to drain their victims of blood. Malawians grew up with these vampiric myths, their parents also using them to scare them away from one activity or another. These tales alluded to actual physical beings, but also to more metaphorical ones: people who leached the spirits, energy or money of others. Dismissal is easy from a dist...